British Car Electrics

[kyle.bowker]

There's no shortage of jokes about British car electrics but I figured I'd get the ball rolling



# The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

# Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

# Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

# Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

# The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.

# The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

# Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices

# Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

# "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."

# If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.

# Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators

# Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

# Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."

# Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

[purplepeopleeater]

Lucas can be a PIA but if you go step by step it is logical. If you want an excuse to abuse alcohol try working on old Fiat electrical systems but even that is mostly due to not being able to get good information to work from.
My favorite electrical nightmare was the old Dodge van that had been previously owned by some stoner house electricians. They had rewired it & done a competetant job but they apparently were out of everything but yellow wire. Ouch

[Tedzilla]

Fiats Spyders and Coupes had a complete wiring diagram right there in the owners manual... all I had to do was get an Italian Dictionary.

Ted